9 Rules For a Stress-Free Life

You’ll likely be able to resolve your stress much more productively.

See the Positives

Seeing the positive aspects of what is around you can help to relieve stress for many. This will help you to change your perspective and remember what you're thankful for, in spite of the negatives.

Avoid the Negatives

Once you have determined what is positive in your life, you might want to assess the negative forces at work as well. When able to, avoid these particular things. They could be people, certain places, or situations that you know won't lead to anything positive.

Reconnect with Friends

Healthy relationships can go a long way to help you manage or even eliminate stress. Not only can they be great sounding boards, they can help you find solutions for what's stressing you. They can also provide a much-needed positive aspect to a life marred by stress.

Get a Hobby

Hobbies are great stress-relievers, because they allow you to pour your stress into something productive that you enjoy doing. This can take your mind off of what ails you, increase your confidence and provide a lift to any day in which you participate in it.

Have Some Fun

It won't kill you to get out there and live a little. You just might find that by adding a little fun into the rotation, that old enemy stress has less time to bother you.

Someone Else's Stress

A good thing to remember is not to take on someone else's stress, because it doesn't help either one of you. If a friend or family member has issues of their own, help them to determine how to alleviate their woes without making them yours as well.

Out of Your Hands

Some stressors are just out of your control. Learn how to differentiate between things you can change and thing you can't. You cannot dwell on the things that are out of your hands, as hard as that is to understand.

Dramatic Changes

Sometimes you might find yourself at crossroads, where you need to make a dramatic change for yourself. If your job is too much to deal with, or whatever the case might be, it might be time to take a new path that keeps you from being bogged down with stress. If you can manage, it might be worth taking the time to figure things out before jumping into anything.

Redirection

Channel your stress into something that makes you work harder for what you are aiming for. For example, you could redirect the stress to focus on your job and earn an upcoming promotion you've been eying.

Author Bio

Jessica Ramirez writes about stress management and happiness. Her recent work is about the best online counseling degrees in the US.

Why I Didn't Turn To Drugs And Alcohol To Take Away My Fears

As an author of a managing fear book, I struggled with fear, anxiety, and stress for over 20 years.
There were many times I felt like giving up because my fears and anxieties were stronger than what I could handle. It was difficult getting through a normal day and there were times I thought I was not going to make it. During those times, I could have been tempted to turn to alcohol and drugs to take away my fears, but deep down inside of me I knew that was not the answer.
The main reason why I didn't use alcohol and drugs to solve my problems was that they did not really do anything to take away my fears in the long-term. I realized that alcohol and drugs would numb the pain for a few hours, but then my fears and anxieties would come back. I also knew that alcohol and drugs were addictive and can be very difficult to stop. I figured I had enough problems aside from trying to deal with the vicious cycle of addiction.
I learned that I couldn't run away from my fears and anxieties.
No matter what I did, my fears and anxieties would always come back and there was no way to escape my fears. Running away or avoiding my problems through alcohol and drugs was not the answer. With this in mind, I determined my best course of action was to learn how to deal with my fears and anxieties in an effective manner. I reasoned that If I could learn how to manage my fears then I would be better off in the long run.
So I talked to various mental health counselors and read many books. I made it a habit to try to learn from my experiences. Every time I experienced a fearful situation I would try various techniques. Whenever the fears went away, I wrote down what worked for me and what didn't work in terms of managing my fears. Instead of running away from my fears, I used each situation as a learning experience so I would be better able to deal with my fears in the future.
I also asked God for help in managing my fears on a regular basis. Using the help of God is way more effective than using alcohol and drugs to take away a person's fears. I also made it a point to surround myself with supportive people who gave me helpful advice and encouragement.
It was not easy, however I continued to seek help and I didn't give up. In my opinion, getting the help you need and learning how to deal with your situation in an effective manner are the best ways in getting better. Using Drugs and alcohol to take away your fears and anxieties will only make things worse.

The Key To Emotional Trauma: The Fight Or Flight Response

Imagine that you are approaching an icy, busy intersection. Oh no... even the perception of slipping and crashing is enough to signal the brain into action. Our brains are biologically wired to react instantaneously when we are threatened with danger. The Fight or Flight response readies the body for intense muscular effort, supported by all of the body's systems.
So what actually happens when the brain switches gears? Envision sitting in a roller coaster just about to take off. You begin to feel your heart pound, palms sweat, arms tingle, breathing becomes rapid and a feeling of electricity flows through your body. In reality you are actually experiencing the first in a series of biochemical reactions sponsored by the fight or flight brain center called the "Amygdala." The hormone that is actually released is called adrenaline. Your body is now ready to go into protect mode.
To support this emergency response system, the thinking center of our brain is taken offline. After all, you do not have time to think. Muscular action takes over and does what is necessary to protect you.
Now that your body has been bathed in adrenaline, what happens next? A new biochemical called "endorphins" is released. Unlike the energetic adrenaline, endorphins produce the "freeze response," a natural anesthetic that helps the body calm itself down. People report feeling in shock as if they don't know where they are or what truly happened.
So what is so wrong with this bio-chemical response? For most people exposed to trauma, with a little time and TLC, they will recover. Others for a variety of reasons, will develop residual symptoms and may over time, get worse.
For people suffering from trauma-related illness, it's as if the limbic system, the home of the amygdala, begins to short-circuit. Every aspect of the original trauma, no matter how large or small, becomes highly charged. So whenever something in the person's environment reminds the brain of the trauma, the fight or flight response gets retriggered over and over again.
Now you can see how feelings of anxiety and at times, panic develop and you may not even know why. As this pattern continues and the symptoms intensify, people will begin to withdraw and feel isolated and alone.
Each event that connects the brain to a traumatic memory creates a retraumatizing event. You just "feel and feel" with no ability to think through what just happened. Shame, guilt and anger predominate and the trauma just does not get resolved. The person remains stuck in the "freeze response stage" never to re-emerge as the same person again.
Dissociation is another way that the brain copes with trauma. Dissociation trauma is described in psychology as a state in which people feel disconnected from their own senses, personal history or from their basic sense of self. This is why so often people do not recognize that their present state may be related to trauma experienced in earlier life. They may go a lifetime making decisions that are driven by reaction to past experience rather than on the best available data provided by the thinking mind.
Hopefully this article has provided interesting insight into how past experience can adversely affect quality of life and why the person may not even be aware of it. If you suspect or have some information suggesting that your past life experience was traumatic in some way, don't hesitate to seek assistance. Your past does not need to determine your future anymore.

Dr. Herbster has been a clinical psychologist for over 19 years and specializes in anxiety and trauma-related illnesses. As a psychologist and a trauma survivor as well, she knows how life changing these events can be. She believes that providing up-to-date information can assist trauma victims in turning a trauma into a triumph.

4 Steps To Reducing Anxiety And Stress

Anxiety disorders are often a product of stress. From GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) to panic disorder, you can cut back on the anxiety in your life simply by reducing stress. Stress is normal in daily life no matter who you are, but if you let your stress take control of your life, serious problems will arise. Fortunately, ongoing stress is easy to overcome, but it is important to know the steps to doing so.

Stress is an internal reaction triggered by external factors, like pressure. One of the best ways to overcome these reactions is with plenty of exercise. Daily exercise can help you learn to physically deal with stress by improving your tolerance to stress during exercise. During a panic attack, most people feel short of breath and a pounding heart. A hard workout gives you these same experiences, but in a healthy way. AS you exercise more and more, you push your body to accept these conditions without panicking.

Getting a good night’s sleep is also very important to reducing stress. Stress can physically wear out a person’s body, and without sleep, you will feel the effects of stress much more readily. This can lead to anxiety disorders very easily. To get enough sleep, make sure that you schedule at least 8 hours for sleeping. Don’t eat or drink lots of sugar or caffeine products before bedtime and try to do relaxing activities in the few hours before bedtime. If necessary, see your doctor for help with sleeping problems.

Another key to reducing stress is to schedule time for non-work related activities. Take vacations or at least days off in order to have fun. Work is a major cause of stress, and with that stress comes worry about money, health, and many other things. By setting aside specific time to enjoy yourself with loved ones or on your own, you can physically and mentally set aside the stress for at least a few hours. Try to have at least an hour to yourself every day and an entire long weekend every few months to purely enjoy fun activities.

Lastly, work to reduce stress by learning to think a bit differently about life. Some of the most stressed-out people are perfectionists. While this can be a good trait, it can also go too far. Know when to let something go. Also, think positively about your life. When you worry that you aren’t good enough or are upset about little things, they really add up to hurt you. Managing your thought process is just part of the battle, but if you work at reducing stress, you can avoid developing anxiety problems. How do you deal with stress?

Stress On The Job - How To Cope

Face it. Even if you are stressed beyond your limits in the
office, you can't do anything about it. After all, what job
does not involve any stress? The secret is to make sure that
you can manage on the side the job of managing your stress!

Managing your stress however can be really tricky if you are
inside the office. The work environment limits the ways that
you can manage your stress. For instance, if watching TV or
movies relieves your stress, you cannot very well do that
inside the office. Neither can you play badminton or sing
with a karaoke. The most that you can do is to play some
quick computer game, hoping that somehow it can relax you.
For some people, this is enough; but for others, it is not.

But there are ways to relieve the stress while sitting on
your office chair. Often, the trick is to not wait for the
stress levels to go up. As they say in medicine, an ounce of
prevention is more than a pound of cure. Don't wait to get
stressed, avoid it like the plague! Here's how.

1. Eat healthy. People who are basically healthy will have
more energy levels on which to work on. They are more able
to withstand late nights and are more able to keep up with
long brain activities as compared to people who are not. To
do this, you've got to eat healthy foods especially those
that are rich in vitamins, minerals and proteins. Besides,
having all the energy that you need will help you cope
better with stress when it happens.

2. Sleep. Sleeping provides the body the rest that it needs.
Brain activity and bodily functions slow down when people
are sleeping. Muscles also relax. When the body lacks sleep,
energy levels go down and the brain becomes disoriented.
This results in poorer concentration, which in the long run
can become detrimental to your job functions. Thus, one way
to avoid stress altogether is get the requisite 8 hours or
more sleep. It will do you good.

3. Exercise. Another way to combat stress and to prevent it
from happening altogether is to have a daily run or an
exercise routine. Experts say that a person must work out 30
minutes each day to successfully keep the body in shape and
healthy. Exercise strengthens our resistance and
surprisingly increases the energy levels. It helps keep the
stressors at bay as it relaxes the muscles and keeps the air
flowing freely through breathing techniques.

4. Manage time. Nothing can make you more stressful than not
managing your time well. Just ask people who are used to
cramming for exams or for work assignments. Planning your
time right and doing what you are supposed to do on time
will help keep the stressors away. Besides, by doing your
assignments and work load piece by piece allows you to relax
while doing it and gives you enough time to really work on
it should the boss decides to have it real early.

5. Smile. Being happy and optimistic is the number one stress
buster there is. Do you know that smiling can help keep the
muscles in the face relaxed? It actually uses less muscles
than when you are frowning. So laugh on the job and keep it
cool.

How To Deal With Stress More Confidently

By Samantha Jones

When you know what to do to relieve stress, you can approach
stressful situations with more confidence. We experience
stress when we are faced with anxiety or fear. This can be
as a result of physical danger or a situation which worries
us on an emotional level.

But as you may know, worrying never made any situation
better yet. Rather than worrying, you have to take action or
learn to accept situations as they are.

Stress can prevent us from taking action at the very times
when it is most important that we do so. Stress and anxiety
have a tendency to make us indecisive and take up more time
thinking about potential consequences than doing something
about a situation.

A lot of us will do this over thinking of problems while
under stress, believing that it is helpful to them. Most of
the time, this is not the case at all. People will think of
exactly how they can proceed and fail to take action, or be
so committed to a plan that they will be inflexible in the
face of changing circumstances with predictable results.

Most of the time when we are faced with a stressful
situation, the best thing to do is to act confidently and
work with the outcome to continue towards your goal.

To be able to do this, most of us could use some training in
assertiveness and conflict resolution. When the stress we
are experiencing is due to the expectations placed upon us
by others, this is especially important, doubly so when the
stress is due to arguments and conflicts.

It is also important to have a clear sense of what is
important and what is not, so that we don't sweat the small
stuff. This means having some perspective on our lives and
it is often achieved by taking up a new hobby or sport, some
useful activity that you can be enthusiastic about. This
will stop your whole life revolving around your work, your
relationship, your health or whatever it is that is causing
the stress.

A good way to defuse acute stress is to do some slow-moving
exercise like tai chi or yoga. Mediation and breathing
exercises can also be incredibly helpful. Even taking a walk
can help to reduce your stress level.

Autogenic training, a method of relaxation which was devised
specifically for handling stress consists of 15 minute
visualization sessions, preferably done three times a day.
You can buy CDs which teach you how to use this powerful
relaxation technique.

Another way to keep a lid on your stress level is to listen
to music. You should listen to down tempo music, preferably
instrumental. You definitely don't want lyrics which can
engage you emotionally.

Even with our hectic, over scheduled lives, you can avoid
stress. There are ways to cope with stressful situations and
you should even think of it as a challenge.

Author: Samantha Jones, she has the information that can
help you with your
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Anxiety Therapy. Visit
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looking for to relieve stress.

Motivating People To Be Better

By Bobbie McKee

A lot of adages tell us that we cannot make people change.
An old dog cannot learn new tricks, says one; a zebra cannot
change its stripes, says another. But one adage does go,
"There is nothing more permanent than change." How can you
reconcile the fact that you can still change no matter how
old you are?

Does this mean that there are ways for people to mend their
ways? Thankfully, there is hope for you to be able to change
people and motivate them to do better. Here are a few tips
that you can take into account when you would like to take
on the monumental task of convincing someone to change.

- An adage goes, "Acceptance comes before change," and this
is something that is true no matter what the occasion or
thing that you want changed. You cannot simply go smashing
and hurtling and driving headlong into a person's life, and
act as the revolutionary whirlwind that will enact change.
Change must go slowly, and if it goes too fast, you can
expect reversion to occur quickly as well. When starting out
a friendship, accept a person's faults first. Make sure that
you set the stage for that person to change because he or
she wants to, not because you demanded it and that person
simply feels it to be an obligation.

- Try some dolphin training. What do trainers do to motivate
animals to do tricks? They reward animals for a job well
done and ignore animals if they do something wrong. This
actually works with people as well. You know the
exhilaration when you get that raise after years of working
hard, that medal after all your hard work in school, that
baby after all your hours in painful labor. But you also
know how painful it is to be ignored and shown indifference.

When you are pleased with someone's actions, reward that
person with a smile, a compliment, even a treat at a nearby
ice cream parlor, if you are so inclined. But when that same
person acts badly and you want that person to change, avoid
a confrontation: ignore the person instead, and let that
person vent until the dust settles and he or she feels that
you are ignoring him or her. Repeat until you have the
results that you want.

- Be patient. Change does not happen overnight. If you want
a person to change quickly, you are treading into uncertain
waters. And if that person does change quickly, you are
bound to be heartbroken on two fronts: first, that person
could easily be changed and swayed to do anything, and you
are stuck with a pushover; and second, that person could
quickly revert to old times and hurt you again. You need to
muster up a lot of courage and patience to have to deal with
such people.

- Be gentle. You may be tempted to get mad at a friend for
hurting you over and over, and you may be tempted to shout
and throw a tantrum. You will only add fire to a flame, and
you can risk getting yourself hurt without having any
significant changes happening. Try talking calmly to your
friend, and then leave it at that.

- Don't be afraid to walk away. Sometimes, leaving a person
to find himself or herself can be a powerful way to make a
person actually change for the better.

Is Your Internal Clock Keeping You Awake At Night?

Your internal clock, or circadian rhythm, is closely
connected to many forms of insomnia. Contrary to popular
belief, circadian rhythm has more to do with the levels of
light than the time of day. This internal clock is what
tells us when to go to sleep, and when to wake up in the
morning.

The circadian rhythm IS the internal clock.These rhythms are
to some degree governed by hormones secreted by endocrine
glands throughout the day. And our body temperature and
overall mental acuity and alertness are only some of the
factors affected by the circadian rhythm.

Since the circadian rhythm influences alertness and our
energy level, for those with have a sleep disorder related
to their circadian rhythm, their internal clock is "off" and
they tend to feel alert when they should be tired or sleepy,
and tired when they should have much energy. This is very
common for those working the grave yard shift.

Light is one of the most influential factors in regulating
your circadian rhythm. When there are long periods of low
levels of light there is a tendency to feel more fatigued
and to suffer from low energy. This is very common in the
winter, especially in the northern areas where there is only
a few hours of light per day.

Correcting sleep disorders caused by, or related to, your
circadian rhythm can be done by light therapy specially
designed to slowly reset your circadian rhythm. The light is
delivered from what is called a "light box" which has the
correct wavelengths of light. 30-60 minutes of exposure to
the light in conjunction with a strict sleep schedule
explains the therapy.

The key to success with light therapy is to time the light
exposure correctly depending on your particular situation.

The Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety

The physical symptoms of an anxiety attack are immediately
recognizable to anyone who has experienced this in the past.
Among other symptoms, the person may experience difficulty
breathing, sweating, chest pain, numbness in the
extremities, and uncontrollable shaking. Any combination of
these symptoms, or even experiencing other unusual symptoms,
can accompany an anxiety attack.

Physical symptoms of an anxiety attack can mimic those of a
heart attack or even nervous breakdown. Many people wind up
in the emergency room of a hospital as a result. Although
this step is not really necessary for the panic attack,
people may still benefit from professional care. People who
suffer from severe anxiety may need other alternatives in
dealing with the anxiety.

Researchers believe that the full-blown physical symptoms of
an anxiety attack are linked to the survival 'fight or
flight' response that is an instinctive survival reaction in
most creatures, including humans. In humans, when the brain
perceives a dangerous situation, it releases stress
hormones, primarily cortisol and adrenaline. Physical
manifestations include an energy rush, increased sensitivity
to surroundings and marked aggressiveness. These changes
allow the body to react quickly to a situation and repair
itself quicker if it is injured in some way. However during
an anxiety attack, these manifestations occur for no
apparent reason and the body often absorb or defuse this
change in it's homeostasis. Hence the physical symptoms of
an anxiety attack, as described before.

Recent research suggests that recurring panic attacks are
related to an increased incidence of future stroke or heart
attack. Those who experience a single instance of the
physical symptoms of an anxiety attack without a prior
record of anxiety disorder are not necessarily prone to
cardiovascular issues or any long-term issues. But further
study is needed to determine if repeated panic attacks
actually cause heart problems or are only related to them in
some way.

Doctors speculate that medications commonly prescribed for
anxiety disorder can put the patient at risk of a
cardiovascular event. No matter what, physical symptoms of
anxiety attacks are an indication that something is not
right, and the underlying problem needs to get taken care
of.

Anxiety attacks can be difficult to deal with. Although any
physical symptoms of an anxiety attack may be treated from a
medical standpoint, people still need to address the
underlying cause of the anxiety attack. There are various
therapies available to help people discover and deal with
the stress that is causing the attacks. One effective
therapy that can help a person control their reactions to
stress through sheer willpower is cognitive behavioral
therapy.

Deep breathing, advanced relaxation techniques,
aromatherapy, acupuncture, or massage therapy can help
people address the physical symptoms of an anxiety attack.
Regardless of what others may tell you, it is not easy to
relieve an anxiety attack by simply talking yourself out of
it. Anxiety should be treated as the medical condition that
it is. With proper treatment, people can alleviate the
effects of anxiety.

The Mental Side of Going Fitness Alone Married or Not......Part 1

Hi Readers!!!

As I gathered my ideas to write this article, before I knew it, 2 pages of inclusions developed and I realized this one would have to be broken down into parts, otherwise the book I intend to write would exist on the blog. So, as you read, remember that this is a "to be continued" article. The mental/emotional/feelings hiding deep inside each of us when it comes to getting healthy is a topic that simply is not addressed in books, etc.....and it is so HUGE....and so I am going there....and as you already know...I am a up front, tell it like it is, HONEST, fitness professional here to help you every way that I can....

The Mental Side of Going Fitness Alone... Married or Not.....

Feeling unsupported.......
Are you sitting home waiting for life to happen for you, for someone to make it happen for you? Do you want to feel motivated by your partner, but all you get is a roll of the eyes. Are you living alone and feeling lonely….there is a difference. Is this keeping you from being the person you dream of being. You may very well be in a situation where you receive no support at all, but you know what…..it is up to YOU to achieve your own goals. True happiness, success, and complete health come from each individual person within….so why keep looking on the outside for someone or something to make it happen for you?

People around but feel alone.......
Do you feel crappy because you are with someone, surrounded by your family, and want so much for everyone to be on YOUR same page to get healthy …..wake up….this is not realistic. The best you can do is create YOUR own page, be an example, and inspire your mate and family to appreciate and hopefully desire what they see in you.

Alone and can't do it alone.....
Are you completely alone and feel no motivation at all to get healthy? Are you stuck in a hum drum routine of going through the motions of life, and hiding from what life could be? It may be a scary thing, but walking through a bit of fear and insecurity WILL be necessary to start your journey to getting healthy. Check out a few online fitness meet up groups in your area and look for physical activities that sound fun and non intimidating at first. This is a gentle way of meeting people who more than likely feel just like you, making new friends, and guess what….gaining a support group and the best motivation through workout partners.

The fear to change is real but you can do it.......
Living an unhealthy lifestyle can come from such deep and hurtful emotional pain, and choosing to hide ourselves in an unhealthy package serves as a security blanket or protection from further emotional pain. I realize that the fear and how you feel is real, but believe that YOU CAN DO IT…..getting healthy is a work in progress. Taking little steps and eventually letting go of that which has trapped the person you really are can happen. Checking out support groups may sound like a HUGE step that just can not be stomached, but if you open up just a little and allow a bit of vulnerability to take place, your journey to shedding that blanket can begin.

It is OK to set the example and be motivated by what YOU want.....
Have you lost yourself in someone else, and have given up what motivates you? Why???? It is healthy, fabulous, and fun to be motivated by what makes up YOU, and even better to set the example of a healthy lifestyle through what makes you happy. Believe me, happiness is contagious and what was once lost….will definitely make a BIG impression.

Change with a smile and positive attitude......
Are you changing and getting healthy for yourself? I hope so and doing so with a smile and positive attitude because it is a choice that YOU made. Again, this is not about changing for someone else, or hoping that the one you are with will change…..sometimes this does not happen and acceptance of this is crucial because regardless of anyone else, it is YOU who has control of YOU, your happiness, and your health for life.

Feeling angry about your mate......
Getting healthy and angry that your mate is not joining the party? Why? Each one of us is responsible for how we respond to life’s circumstances and people. This includes those near and dear…..those we love. Take a look at your parents, grandparents, children, etc…..are you angry with them or do you accept them as they are regardless of the quality of their health. This stance needs to be taken with your partner as well….your choice to improve the quality of your life is just that….YOURS. In a perfect world, we would all be healthy and happy, but all of us are on our own time clocks for life transitions. The very best you can do, is enjoy the journey to good health, and be a walking example of your life. So, grab an apple, give a kiss to the couch potato and go for a walk/jog. I have found over the years of working with clients that have significant others, that the partner wanted the physical and emotional changes of the client. Bingo….they are both working out together, eating wonderful new healthy foods, and enjoying the refresh of the relationship.

Why blame he/she for who they are….the only thing you can change is YOU
The blame game…..such a trap for unhealthiness and unhappiness. Are you there? Do you find yourself dwelling on past hurts, pains, and events and feel stuck and unable to move forward? Think about it…….what is this doing for you each day of your life except causing stress, depression, zapping your physical and emotional health, and a loathing nag that life really sucks....well THAT really sucks. Why Why Why??? The past can not be changed, and you definitely can not change the people who caused such pain for you…..what can you do…work on changing YOU. Accepting that the behaviors of others are not about you and out of your control, although disappointing, is essential to your being able to move forward. Sometimes this takes a few sessions with a counselor that you have interviewed, bonded with, and feel comfortable taking steps of sharing with. We all at times need help putting our lives into perspective, and it is definitely worth your health and happiness. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, but this moment is your gift to live the way YOU CHOOSE.

Accept others for who they are….
I may be repetitive on this one….but this is so true…especially for relationships now struggling with identity crisis. Who the hell is this person? I no longer know you? Why don’t you do this or that? Well….take a look at yourself….stop focusing on them and focus on YOU….you have NO control of what is going on in someone else’s brain and body…their thoughts, activities, and decisions. This is always the set up for unrealistic and REALLY disappointing SELF expectations we place on others and often times without they being aware of it. How unfair is that??? and how dissapointed are YOU because of it??? STOP STOP STOP creating within your own mind what he/she was supposed to do, what they were supposed to say and how it was to be said, how the birthday, anniversary, holiday that played such the perfect movie in your head with that person did not happen how YOU expected....hell....they did not even see the movie. Expect everything from your own actions, thoughts and feelings and have zero expectations from others, and consider yourself truly blessed and appreciative when something thoughtful happens to you......because that is the beginning of letting go and realizing YOU do not control ANYONE....but sure as hell can love them for who they are and at that REALISTIC MOMENT be truly thankful. Sometimes that which once felt like a dream seems like a nightmare, but taking control of feeling great for yourself through controlling your own responses to life with your own healthy thoughts, actions, and decisions for yourself will reap healthy benefits beyond belief….

I realize that this is digging deep into truly getting healthy, and removing bandaids covering the crap hiding and keeping a healthy lifestyle from even being able to happen.....but going into the mental side of making the choice to begin a healthy journey is the key to open the door for a lifetime of good quality living.

to be continued........

Stay Healthy!!!!

Darla Benfield, LCPT, LCMT

How To Manage Your Stress

By Lillian F Tighe

Stress and tension are part of most people lives and
threaten your health in many ways. Stress can come in the
form of accidents, financial difficulties, problems at work,
family issues, and poor health. The way to manage stress has
a lot to do with your mental, emotional, and physical
health. The following are some ways that you can manage the
stress in your life:

1. Try to find out what is causing your stress.

2. Examine your life and see if it is possible to make changes
in the areas that are causing you stress.

3. Relaxation techniques such as massage, deep breathing,
meditation, or yoga may help to relieve your stress.

4. Exercise or other physical activity will help you deal with
stress.

5. When you feel overwhelmed by everything you have to do,
create a checklist and arrange your priorities. You will
get satisfaction when you complete the tasks you have set
yourself.

6. Avoid sugar, fats, tobacco, caffeine, and alcohol to help
your body and mind to cope with stress.

7. Getting enough sleep is really important.

8. Find someone to talk to if things are bothering you. You
can talk to family, friends or find a support group.

9. Volunteering can give you a sense of purpose and increase
your self esteem and reduce your stress.

10. Relax by reading a book or watching a movie, listening to
music or working at a hobby you enjoy.

11. Practice anger management. If you feel that you have
problems dealing with you anger find a support group that
you can join.

12. A vacation from your regular life, even if only for a
weekend, will help you deal with stress.

13. Don't take on too much at one time. Learn to take it easy.

14. Don't try to be perfect in everything that you do.

15. Remember that being judgmental is likely to do you more
harm than the people you are judging.

16. Always try to see the amusing side of any situation.
Laughter is the best medicine.

17. Move your head from side to side and rotate you neck in a
circle to reduce the tension in your neck and jaw.

18. Set small and smart goals for yourself and then work
carefully and realistically towards achieving them. Keep in
mind that unrealistic goals never seem to be reached and
this can add to your stress level. Try to set a goal for
yourself this week by using the SMART approach:

SPECIFIC: Choose one little goal and write it down.

MEASURABLE: How will you know when it is done?

ACHIEVABLE: Make sure it is not too big.

REWARDED: When you have finished, how will you reward
yourself?

TIME-LIMITED: Can you set an achievable deadline?


Lillian F Tighe is an authority on healthy living and has
written a book (http://www.besthealthylives.com)
10stepstohealthyliving which you can obtain for free on her
(http://www.besthealthylives.com) healthyliving website

Brain Fitness Training Is The New Resolution

By Martin G Walker

If historians are correct, the ancient Babylonians, one of
the earliest civilized societies, practiced the art of the
New Year's resolution. To this day, cultures around the
world use the turning of the year as a time to reflect on
what's past while looking to the future. This New Year more
people than ever before will be making brain fitness
training their top resolution.

Many of the traditional favorites - losing weight,
exercising, quitting smoking, to name a few - already move
us in the direction of better brain health. Brain training
takes us a big step further by fostering brain plasticity, a
state that we can use to improve our memory, concentration,
and mental acuity while helping to stave off the onset of
Alzheimer's symptoms and early dementia.

Although scientists had long since dismissed the idea that
the adult brain could grow and change, research from the
last few years overturns that theory with studies proving
quite the opposite. The right conditions can cause the
production of new neural nerve cells and the brain, in fact
proves to be remarkably adept at rewiring connections work
more effectively with the right training. (The concept of
brain plasticity is even being applied in new therapies for
stroke victims, restoring motor capabilities that
traditional therapies could not.)

Brain Training Benefits

Academics: Good brain training software may be one of the
most effective and affordable test prep programs you can
buy. Test prep typically helps you increase your test scores
but won't help you do better in school, whereas brain
training can boost your attention and general
problem-solving ability. And if you have a diagnosed
learning dysfunction, it's possible that a targeted brain
exercise will help. Where possible, many learning
specialists have begun to use brain training in preference
to accommodations as a way to address a deficit directly
rather than working around it.

Career Improvement: If your career involves creative
problem-solving and focused mental activity brain training
provides a way to stay sharp. Modern workplace demands tend
to disrupt the brain's ability to form memories and
stimulate new cell growth. Brain training can significantly
increase effectiveness and success in the workplace.

Long-Term Mental Health And Well-Being: Unless we do
something to stop it, by age 40 our brains have begun to
decline. With regular mental exercise, however, we can
reduce or eliminate memory loss, and lower our risk of
developing Alzheimer's symptoms and dementia. Researchers
have even found that depression responds to the kind of
stimulated neural growth that brain training can induce.

Self-Growth: The recent upsurge in brain training
technologies has revealed that brain exercise can lead to
improvements in seemingly unrelated areas - such as musical
ability and self-esteem. When we reflect on the brain's
central role in any and all aspects of thinking (including
feeling) this begins to make perfect sense. If we're already
engaged in activities such as physical exercise, yoga,
reading, therapy, and mindfulness meditation, a program of
mental exercise fits right in.

Making The Resolution Stick

Studies have shown that we tend not to keep our New Year's
resolutions. Women will do better at them if they share them
with their friends. And men succeed more often if the goals
are broken down into manageable milestones. Brain training
has the built-in advantage of challenge and reward. If we
find a training program that works for us, it will become an
activity we look forward to. Many programs also provide the
option to share our achievements in some form of on-line
community, and to track our detailed progress through our
training scores.

The brain training marketplace can be a little confusing at
first. There are many products out there and it's not always
clear which ones work. Some training programs provide don't
require much focus and attention and won't stimulate brain
plasticity. Others might work extremely well but cost
several hundred dollars and demand a significant time
commitment.

It's important to verify a program's scientific basis. The
vendor should state clearly what improvements the program
will bring about and in what time period. And the product
should come with a training schedule that will help you
judge whether it is right for you.

Brain training could be the best New Year's resolution
you'll ever make. With the right level of commitment it can
bring about a big jump in mental ability and set us on the
road to long-term brain health.

Oxford-trained scientist, author, and technologist, Martin
G. Walker is a member of The British Neuroscience
Association, Learning and The Brain, and MENSA. His company
(http://mindevolvesoftware.com) Mind Evolve Software

publishes free information on the field of neuroscience and
brain training as well as effective and affordable
(http://mindsparkebrainfitnesspro.com) brain training
software under the brand name Mind Sparke.

Panic Attacks and Anxiety

Although panic attacks and anxiety can be related to each
other, they can also be completely separate entities with
their own set of symptoms. Either of these conditions can
become problematic if the symptoms escalate beyond the
normal range. It is at this point, that treatment will need
to be sought.

Anxiety is a reaction to stress, and this is considered to
be normal. It is something that can help someone deal with
tense situations in different areas of one's life, such as
at work, school, or just something that requires facing a
crowd of people. If anxiety starts to become an excessive
and irrational dread of facing everyday situations, it has
crossed into the area of a disabling disorder.

Panic attacks and anxiety differ in the fact that, while
anxiety usually builds to a point, panic attacks can hit at
any time with no warning. Unlike anxiety, a panic attack is
an irrational fear of something that can't be named. There
is rarely any obvious reason for the feelings of panic, and
is much more intense than the feelings of anxiety or being
overly stressed.

One out of every 75 people in the world will have a panic
attack at some point in their lives. The good news is that
most of these adults will never have another panic attack.
However, these statistics show that panic attacks and
anxiety are the most common emotional disorders, even more
so than bipolar disorders, ADHD, depression, OCD
schizophrenia, phobias, and alcohol abuse. In addition to
this, people suffering from panic and anxiety disorders
rarely go looking for help with their problem.

Of course, there are similarities between panic attacks and
anxiety attacks, and anxiety attacks can lead to panic
attacks. Suffer from enough anxiety and it can escalate into
a panic attack. So if you begin to find yourself becoming
overly anxious, it's time to get help in bringing it under
control before it gets too much to cope with.

Panic attacks and anxiety are not pleasant and can actually
become quite debilitating. But people who suffer from
anxiety or panic attacks can take some comfort in knowing
there is help around to lead a regular life. All it takes is
asking for the help you need.